Why I Will Run.

I'm not a runner.


Truth be told, I'm not even much of a walker. I trip over curbs and splash into puddles and excuse myself when I bump into inanimate objects.

But this weekend, I will run.

I'll be running for Allison, painting a peaceful world in my mind.

And I'll run for Ana with a song in my heart.

I'll be running for Avielle, imagining the concrete is a San Diego beach.

I'll be running for Benjamin and his love for his brother.

I run for Caroline with pink nail polish in her honor.

I run for Catherine, smiling if an animal should cross my path. I doubt there'll be any on the course with me, but if even a bird should fly overhead, I'll think about her love for all these creatures.

I will run for Charlotte and her curls.

I'll run for Chase because, if he could, he'd be running too, and if a 6 year old can complete a triathlon, I can certainly handle a 5K.

I will run for Daniel and his missing front teeth.

I run for Dylan, bouncing on a trampoline.

I will run for Emilie, who probably would've congratulated me with a card when I finished.

I will run for amazing Grace with a ribbon in my hair.

And I'll run for Jack, maybe even doing a Giants end zone dance when I finish.

I will run for James, and after that, I'll eat lunch in his honor. Maybe a footlong Subway.

I'll run for Jesse and his favorite breakfast sandwiches.

I run for Jessica and her pink cowboy boots.

I run for Josephine, especially because she was nicknamed "Boo."

I run for shy Madeleine and her sweet smile.

I run for Noah and those giant puppy dog eyes.

I will run for "wiggly" Olivia and her role as an angel - not just in St. Rose's Nativity, but in the world as well.
 
I run for teachers who died protecting these kids. I run for my sister and friends who carry on the legacy left by those six. Teachers who spend their days caring for the world's children, all sharing the instinct to protect that innocence, whatever the cost.

I run for my friends and all those we turn to when our bodies and souls are in need. First responders modeling courage, social workers seeking understanding, clergy inspiring hope.

I run for the parents who lost a piece of their hearts and siblings who lost their best friends.

I run for the 20 empty chairs in the Class of 2024, and for the chunk of childhood that was stolen from so many on a morning just a week before Christmas.

I run for my Newtown neighbors. I run for our community. I run for how everything changed, and it all started in our backyard.

I'm not a runner.

But this weekend, I will run with 26 pairs of wings at my feet.

How Sweet It Is...

"Speak up, take a stand, and there's someone to write about it.
That's how things get better.
Give life's little guys some ink,
and when it dries just watch what happens."

 - "Watch What Happens" from Disney's Newsies on Broadway

Newsies taught me the words above. I'm gonna go ahead and guess it wasn't referring to confusing punctuation.
Alas, what I knew I needed to speak out about? An apostrophe.

Let me set the scene for you: Strolling along with the shore to your left. The bells of surrey bikes in your ears. The setting sun warming your shoulders. Wooden boards clapping under your feet. Enjoying your day on the picture perfect BoardWalk.

Except you're not on the Jersey shore - you're in Disney World. Even MORE perfect, right? Well, almost. Look to your right.

Welcome to Seashore Sweets'.

"Confections Served with Affection."  

And look closer - see the window?

Seashore Sweets.

Ugh. When I tell you that this has bothered me for YEARS, I am not kidding. That apostrophe - or lack thereof - is the only thing I can see when I look at the sign.






So finally I had to speak. I had to know why the apostrophes were inconsistent because - come on! - this is Disney. There HAD to be a good reason. And so there was. 

An excerpt from my letter to the BoardWalk Resort GM

With that letter, I attached a photo to illustrate the signs in question. Now that I've pointed it out, you are 100% never again going to be able to stroll the BoardWalk without thinking of me.

You're welcome.

The offending apostrophe

So today, as I sat at my desk willing time to go by a little faster so that we could end this loooooong week, a 407 area code appeared on my phone. As any Disney World fan knows, you don't ignore a 407 area code. Especially not when your next trip is just two weeks away.

To be honest? I had totally forgotten about the letter. I thought something was up with my reservation. I thought maybe I won something. I thought...well, basically I don't know what I thought, but it wasn't that the BoardWalk GM would be on the other end of the line.


There IS a story behind Seashore Sweets' - and, as expected, Disney was prepared to tell it.

GM - whose name I regretfully can't recall - began by telling me he had received my letter, and that he and his secretary had initially spent time discussing it earlier this week. Oh, and ps? I want that job. Can you imagine? The GM and his secretary just sitting at the hotel, taking field trips out on the boardwalk to debate an apostrophe at the candy shop. Sign me up.

Anyway, they talked about it and eventually, he told me, went to "WDI to get them involved. Oh - sorry, that's Walt Disney Imagineering, we just call it WDI here."

I laughed. Did he really think he needed to explain that to me?

"Ha - you don't need to explain that to me, I'm totally with you." Yes, I definitely told him that.

So they called WDI to find out what the story was, but before he shared it with me, he told me about how there's another sign (in Epcot) that a guest had similarly written in to question. WDI had an answer for that one, too. He said that every once in a while, a guest will write in with something that makes them have to dig a little.

Like my letter.

I apologized and told him I'd hoped he didn't think my letter was rude or a bad thing because it wasn't intended that way.

"Oh no, I knew. I could tell you really love the resort, and I could tell - you say you're an English nerd? I could tell you were a Disney nerd too."

GAH, WHY DO PEOPLE ASSUME THINGS? Just because I wrote to you about an apostrophe and spent five minutes talking to you about a sign in Epcot, that doesn't make me a-ohhhhh...wait. Yeah, wait a second.

Disney nerd? Guilty as charged.

At this point, as he's telling me that my letter was passed around to their WDI friends, my mind starts to wander. I'm wishing I could have recorded the call, and I'm wondering if these conversations with WDI could be thrown on a little "Magical Moment" certificate or something. I mean, not all of you will understand this, but for me?

It was kind of a big deal.

After he told me the story (which I will get to in just a second), I thanked him for clearing it up. I would've expected nothing less than for Disney to have a story for me. I told him that if I could do anything with my life, it'd be to work for WDI.

That's only partially true. Really? If I could do ANYTHING? I'd probably do nothing but ride the People Mover all day every day for the rest of forever. Telling stories, however, is a very close second. The histories woven into every inch of a Disney park or resort are what make it all so special. I guarantee you will appreciate your vacation for more than just rides on Space Mountain and pictures with Mickey if you know the story of Master Gracey's widow at the Haunted Mansion.

The phone call only lasted about five minutes, but by the time he told me the stories about the signs and talked to me about my trip in a couple weeks, it was enough pixie dust to make up for everything that has gone wrong to stress me out over the last couple of weeks.

So you wanna know about the signage:

First, the Epcot sign he referred to was one near Test Track that read (maybe reads? I haven't been there since Tron Track opened, so I'm not sure if signage was changed) "Play Safe." The guest believed it should be "Play Safely," but WDI determined that "Play Safe" was more kid friendly - moms are constantly yelling "PLAY SAFE!" so that's how the sign reads, too.

As for my girl, Seashore Sweets? WDI told GM that I actually answered my own question in my letter - they ARE both correct, and for exactly the reasons I stated.

The official line on Seashore Sweets' (the shop) is that it is owned by sisters, pictured in the sign above the store, who were former queens of the BoardWalk. Those of you who visit will recall the collection of Miss America regalia, paying homage to the pageants of Atlantic City's past. (I personally like to visit Miss America 1979, Kylene Barker.)

And the window? Also correct - the store is selling sweets on the seashore.

So there ya have it - mystery solved. I can now enjoy my confections with affection and not want to use a chocolate chip as a makeshift apostrophe on the window.

Before we hung up with a "see ya real soon!", GM told me he really wanted to call this afternoon so that he could end his week on a happy note. He said again that he could tell how special Disney World and the BoardWalk are to me, and he knew our conversation was going to be a great end to his day.

I was super excited after hanging up, of course, but it also made me wonder if it was actually a different kind of calling. It's not every day that something you write finds its way into the hands of Walt Disney Imagineering. But maybe it should be.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we here in Fantasyland call a magical moment.

Here we are, Miss America!!

Is it safe to say that the Miss America Pageant could be considered America's 1st Reality Show? I mean, for 92 years we've been strutting young women up on a stage to be judged based on impossible standards, yet masking it as a "scholarship" pageant.

Don't get me wrong. I grew up watching Miss America, practicing my surprised "ME?!" winning look, perfecting my wave, and balancing a tin foil crown on my head in the living room. None of these, by the way, count as actual "talents" according to the official rules, and that's complete bull. You'll notice not one of these girls can actually DO that when she's crowned. I should've practiced yodeling instead.

Anyway, I don't have beef with Miss America, and I do feel connected to the history of it, particularly when the crowning took place in Atlantic City. I was also named after a former Miss America, soooo...yeah, I'm glad I took the pressure off all future Kylenes whose moms have pageant dreams for them. Even with the connection, however, it's impossible for me to watch this contest with even a tinge of seriousness.

With so many new reality shows to chose from, it feels almost like a parody. I find myself hoping someone will roll an ankle and wipe out during the Swimsuit Strut, or possibly lose track of a baton over the audience during the talent competition. And, really, can we just get ONE of the eliminated contestants to pull a Kanye and grab the mic from one of the other girls? They've ALREADY lost. They're forced to sit up there on stage and SMILE the whole time. Why not just make things interesting?

So tonight I tuned in just before swimsuit when I learned one of the girls was named Mariah Cary. (I'm easily amused.) At that point, the commentary with Lindsay began. Below are the text screen shots and Google chat messages of our time watching Miss America 2013.

We may not have sashes or sparkly crowns, but I think we can all agree who the real winners are tonight.

This is me turning on Miss America and realizing what I was about to witness.

Correction: I would've come in 54th, at least. At the time, I thought 53 was a joke. I thought "Well, Miss America, America has 50 states..." but I'm smarter than that and realized it was more than that because, for this contest, we include DC and Puerto Rico. I have no idea where the 53rd state comes into play, but needless to say - I would NOT have placed well in any of the competitions. Except the one where they judge based on being named after Miss America.





I started watching just as they were beginning the swimsuit competition. Like I said - if someone threw down a Mario Kart banana peel, maybe I'd be impressed. But can't these girls be beautiful in regular every day clothes?


And in unrelated news, Merriebeth.















There were a lot of texts before the formal wear part of the show, but Lindsay and I don't want to get sued. We'll move into fancy gowns, k?

If Gwyneth Paltrow is your ANYTHING icon, you shouldn't admit it.











 Yeah, I really don't hate the show, and some of the gowns were pretty. I liked Oklahoma's blue gown, and Wyoming's with the shiny polka dots? ADORABLE! I declared her the winner.

Unfortunately, my vote doesn't count for anything.

But then came Illinois with that crazy red ocean of a gown, and I got so flummoxed I couldn't even spell. Jessica Rabbit?! I mean, KUDOS, she's better than Gwyneth, but how RANDOM is that?







And then: talent.

This is the best part, guys. This is where I couldn't tell if it was real or not.

My apologies to my friends who represented SHS with batons in their hands, but honestly...I really didn't know this was a thing.




I just feel like this is a random "talent", and I should be able to enter based on my ability to balance things. I'm just saying.






I can't help it. I think it would've been funny if her act went a slapstick route.


(Our friend Mia was busy being freakin' talented on a stage herself, so she wasn't able to enjoy the show with us.)

And then TN came on wearing this, like, spearmint colored dress, and I really thought for a moment she was just going to read. She sang instead.










Being as how I win every single talent competition that's held in my car when no one is around to hear how good I am, I think I'm a good judge to say she wasn't great, but she was LEGIT wearing a dress from the 80's soap.





















We're harsh. So what.


We're also right.

She did confirm, by the way. It was 1983.


I'm holding to my guess that the talent lineup was based on some sort of journey through time.









At that point, we moved the conversation to gchat because it was just easier than texting.
   (Scene: Girl plays "an original composition")me: oh good. Conzonay what now?

 Lindsay: Jeff goes "oh this is going to be bad"

10:20 PM me: ooh, she just looked over at us

  original composition = no one would know if she messed up

10:21 PM Lindsay: her earring fell off

  "maybe if she wasnt moving her head so much"-jeff

 me: I WAS DISCONNECTED

 ABBY LEE WOULD HAVE KILLED HER FOR THAT  (Scene: Girl sings from Les Mis) me: Anne Hathaway called, she says you suck

  Anne Hathaway called, she says lose 20 lbs

10:22 PM Anne Hathaway called, she said shave your hair

  Anne Hathaway called, she said OSCAR.

 Lindsay: I WAS TYPING THAT

(Scene: Girl wearing sparkly dress singing country pop...not well)me: Is she auditioning for Nashvillethese singers wouldn't make it past the producers of AI

  WOW

 Lindsay: a lot see through material has been used in the last 7 minutes

  WHAT?

 me: I mean, I cringed

10:35 PM she's trying hard though

 Lindsay: omg

  i actually feel bad for her

 me: this is....not good.

  like, someone give her a baton

  maybe she's better at that

 Lindsay: jeff goes "she is kidding, right?"

10:36 PM me:OOH!

  maybe he's right!

  maybe her talent was comedy!

10:44 PM(Scene: Judges questions time - how do you feel about broadcasters improperly objectifying women?)

 Lindsay: lol

  she thinks it awesome

  they are probably friends on twitter

  she wants to be on epsn for her beauty

 me: Miss America: Properly Objectifying Women Since 1921

10:46 PM Lindsay: EYAHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAAH

   (Scene: McKayla Maroney, unimpressed Olympian, presents her question)

 Lindsay: "miss wyoming, don't you think I should have won a gold medal?"

 Lindsay: "miss wyoming, do you like my dress?"

 me: Miss Wyoming, are you impressed?

10:55 PM (Scene: Moments before one winner and 53 losers are announced)me: YOU ARE ALL AMAZING

 Lindsay: hold my hand

 me: but really only one of you is

  WHY DO YOU LOOK HAPPY?

  YOU JUST LOST!

 Lindsay: i like her dress

 me: WHO IS GONNA BE GRAND SUPREME

 

 (Scene: Miss New York, Mallory Hytes Hagan, is crowned! Very nervously! By current Miss America who has had a full year to learn how to put on a crown but still can't get it stuck on there! SEE? THIS SHOULD BE A TALENT!)me: BOBBY PIN

  BOBBY PIN

  BOBBY PIN

  BOBBY PIN

  BOBBY PIN

10:58 PM 

 me:

  < cue the mob by the rest of the contestants as they try to get the final few seconds of screentime >

 Lindsay: i'd flash my twittername 

And that, America, is what you missed.

 

Lights Out.

-->

Is there any moment more disorientating than when the lights go out?

I guess it’s not actually the lights that disorientate me. I mean, if I’m being honest, sometimes I know I’m going to be too lazy to turn the light off before I fall asleep, so I’ll sit in darkness instead. No, it’s not the darkness that’s weird.

It’s the silence.

The moment that buzz disappears from your house, when there’s no sound of indistinguishable voices coming from someone else’s tv, and even the hum of various appliances is gone.

That’s what I hear right now. Well, that and the cicadas outside my window. I mean, I THINK they’re cicadas. I could’ve made that up. Normally I’d google the hell out of the sound to make sure (and probably spend two hours learning more about bugs than I ever wanted to know), but guess what! No electricity = no interwebz. No googling. No enriching my brain with useless knowledge and close up pictures of many-legged creatures no one was meant to encounter with a 900x zoom lens.

I AM SITTING IN THE DARK AND GOING INSANE.

It’s only been a couple of hours at this point (I THINK…all of my clocks are digital, so God knows what time it actually is), but I might as well have gotten into a DeLorean and sling shot straight into the dark ages.

After the initial shock (aka, the moment my tv went out), I was prepared to embrace the blackout. I figured it would be an excuse to do all the things I normally don’t have time for.

My life is busy. Work, school, friends, the gym, other work, family– I mean, these are all things that take up a lot of our time, right? I’m a multi-tasker by nature, so I’m usually spending this time of night working on projects while watching tv and fostering the relationships I don’t want to lose completely due to lack of actual face-to-face contact. Some things require me to sit still too long doing ONE thing for me to give them the attention they deserve. When the lights went out, I thought that would be a perfect time to do those things.

Oh, how foolish I was.

Every single thing on the list of things I’d like to do that I normally don’t have time to focus on? Impossible without ELEC-EFFING-TRICITY.

Manicure? Not gonna happen. Even in broad daylight, my self-manicure looks like it was done by a blind lobster wearing mittens. Puffy ones. Nail polish and the tiny light from kyPhone seemed like a bad pairing.

Bubble bath? Oh sure, you can relax in the dark. As long as you’re ok with the creep factor of unseen things sneaking up on you. (And I’m NOT ok with that. I’ve seen Psycho, thankyouverymuch. I’m barely ok showering when I can SEE what’s sneaking up on me. Even in my house. Even with the doors locked.)

Eat the dinner you didn’t get to enjoy before? Bon appetite! As long as you like it cold.

Wanna know the other thing that got lost with the electricity? My short term memory. Like, not even short-term. IMMEDIATE term. Every time I enter a room I’m flipping the damn light switch. Like, oh! Right! The whole house is dark because no one had thought to FLIP THE EFFING SWITCH! You’re a genius, Kylene!

Nope.

And oh, how I’ve missed the internet. My laptop was charged enough for me to type this, but I have attempted to check my email preeeeeetttty much every time I start a new paragraph. (And also just that second even though it’s the middle of a paragraph.) I KNOW it isn’t going to work. But I keep refreshing anyway. Not out of hope. Nope, I’ll admit it’s because in that split second reflex, I forgot there’s a reason we’re in the dark.

kyPhone was fun for a while, until the battery depleted to the scary red zone and I figured I’d better conserve it. My car’s in the garage, see. And I can’t run it to charge my phone unless I can open the garage without, you know, gassing everyone up. And I can’t open the garage without electricity. <shakes fist at electricity>

So I played three rounds of Draw Something and updated my Facebook status before conserving it like a District 12 kid conserves bread.

I guess the best thing to do at this point is go to sleep, another activity I don’t typically have extra time for. Who wants to bet that the minute I doze off in slumber the power comes back and I discover just how many lights, tvs and other electrical things I’ve turned on in the last few hours?

(Note: This was entry was posted after power was restored. I’m actually a little surprised I survived a period without the ability to get my electrical fixes – the fact that I slept clutching kyPhone probably indicates an unhealthy level of dependence. However, if you think I’m going to get all nostalgic for a simpler time and use the blackout as a lesson in the importance of disconnecting once in a while, you’re insane. If anything, all I’ve learned from this is to have a back up plan.

Hm…my sister’s house is within walking distance…I wonder if she had power!)

Let the Shameless Plugs Begin!

I'm a big fan of tv. I watch it like it's my job. Once, I made a wish that I could watch it FOR my job.


Dreams come true, kids.

I have officially joined the staff of RealityWanted.com's blogging team, bringing you the best, the worst, and the downright ridiculous from reality tv. Ironically, I've been assigned to some shows about two topics that I am probably LEAST qualified to comment on: Dancing and Cooking.

Not that I'm a bad cook. I'm just picky. I don't eat things that live in the sea, I don't like to touch bones, and if it has the texture of flan....well, I'm probably going to poke it a few times before I trust it enough to put it in my mouth.

I'm sort of fascinated by people who CAN cook, especially when they're whipping up recipes in foreign places, which they certainly will be in Bravo's Around the World in 80 Plates. The show combines food with traveling, which is something else I wish I could get paid to do. I can't wait to see where their adventures take them and learn about the cultures they visit and watch as tempers in faraway kitchens heat up.

Over at Food Network Star, they're staying more local but trying to discover the next big food celebrity. That's the tricky thing - it's not only about what you put on the plate, it's also about what how much buzz you're cooking up on the screen. If anyone wants a kick ass recipe for Champagne Creamsicles (oh yes, as delicious as they sound), I'm pretty sure I could win this show. Unfortunately, however, they seem to value the ability to cook beyond ice cream and champagne as an important skill.

And then there's dancing. I can't dance. Like...it fascinates me even more than cooking that people just...can. Because I can't. I don't even THINK I can. Which is a great little joke between me and my tv when So You Think You Can Dance comes on. I'm amazed by it though - I really am. To be in such control of your body and dictating what every muscle is doing...and the fact that some of my favorite Newsies are veterans of the show just makes me appreciate it even more.

So there you have it. Keep up with me as I watch tv like it's my job.

Because it is.

Shameless Plug Tuesday!

Yeah, you've missed it over the last couple of weeks, so back by popular demand - Shameless Plug Tuesday brings you the Dancing With the Stars Performance Recap!

Click to read all about how Katherine and I are practically the same!

Dancing with the Stars Season 14: Week 6

Shameless Plug Wednesday!

I neglected Shameless Plug Wednesday last week, so I apologize for that, but Lord knows there's enough reading to do THIS week for you to get your fill.

Just in case you missed Dancing With the Stars this week (or you loved it so much you can't wait to relive it with words!), check out my Reality Wanted recaps!

 The Top 11 Cry Their Way Through Week 3!

Monday, 4/2 Performance Recap

Tuesday, 4/3 Results Recap