Lights Out.

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Is there any moment more disorientating than when the lights go out?

I guess it’s not actually the lights that disorientate me. I mean, if I’m being honest, sometimes I know I’m going to be too lazy to turn the light off before I fall asleep, so I’ll sit in darkness instead. No, it’s not the darkness that’s weird.

It’s the silence.

The moment that buzz disappears from your house, when there’s no sound of indistinguishable voices coming from someone else’s tv, and even the hum of various appliances is gone.

That’s what I hear right now. Well, that and the cicadas outside my window. I mean, I THINK they’re cicadas. I could’ve made that up. Normally I’d google the hell out of the sound to make sure (and probably spend two hours learning more about bugs than I ever wanted to know), but guess what! No electricity = no interwebz. No googling. No enriching my brain with useless knowledge and close up pictures of many-legged creatures no one was meant to encounter with a 900x zoom lens.

I AM SITTING IN THE DARK AND GOING INSANE.

It’s only been a couple of hours at this point (I THINK…all of my clocks are digital, so God knows what time it actually is), but I might as well have gotten into a DeLorean and sling shot straight into the dark ages.

After the initial shock (aka, the moment my tv went out), I was prepared to embrace the blackout. I figured it would be an excuse to do all the things I normally don’t have time for.

My life is busy. Work, school, friends, the gym, other work, family– I mean, these are all things that take up a lot of our time, right? I’m a multi-tasker by nature, so I’m usually spending this time of night working on projects while watching tv and fostering the relationships I don’t want to lose completely due to lack of actual face-to-face contact. Some things require me to sit still too long doing ONE thing for me to give them the attention they deserve. When the lights went out, I thought that would be a perfect time to do those things.

Oh, how foolish I was.

Every single thing on the list of things I’d like to do that I normally don’t have time to focus on? Impossible without ELEC-EFFING-TRICITY.

Manicure? Not gonna happen. Even in broad daylight, my self-manicure looks like it was done by a blind lobster wearing mittens. Puffy ones. Nail polish and the tiny light from kyPhone seemed like a bad pairing.

Bubble bath? Oh sure, you can relax in the dark. As long as you’re ok with the creep factor of unseen things sneaking up on you. (And I’m NOT ok with that. I’ve seen Psycho, thankyouverymuch. I’m barely ok showering when I can SEE what’s sneaking up on me. Even in my house. Even with the doors locked.)

Eat the dinner you didn’t get to enjoy before? Bon appetite! As long as you like it cold.

Wanna know the other thing that got lost with the electricity? My short term memory. Like, not even short-term. IMMEDIATE term. Every time I enter a room I’m flipping the damn light switch. Like, oh! Right! The whole house is dark because no one had thought to FLIP THE EFFING SWITCH! You’re a genius, Kylene!

Nope.

And oh, how I’ve missed the internet. My laptop was charged enough for me to type this, but I have attempted to check my email preeeeeetttty much every time I start a new paragraph. (And also just that second even though it’s the middle of a paragraph.) I KNOW it isn’t going to work. But I keep refreshing anyway. Not out of hope. Nope, I’ll admit it’s because in that split second reflex, I forgot there’s a reason we’re in the dark.

kyPhone was fun for a while, until the battery depleted to the scary red zone and I figured I’d better conserve it. My car’s in the garage, see. And I can’t run it to charge my phone unless I can open the garage without, you know, gassing everyone up. And I can’t open the garage without electricity. <shakes fist at electricity>

So I played three rounds of Draw Something and updated my Facebook status before conserving it like a District 12 kid conserves bread.

I guess the best thing to do at this point is go to sleep, another activity I don’t typically have extra time for. Who wants to bet that the minute I doze off in slumber the power comes back and I discover just how many lights, tvs and other electrical things I’ve turned on in the last few hours?

(Note: This was entry was posted after power was restored. I’m actually a little surprised I survived a period without the ability to get my electrical fixes – the fact that I slept clutching kyPhone probably indicates an unhealthy level of dependence. However, if you think I’m going to get all nostalgic for a simpler time and use the blackout as a lesson in the importance of disconnecting once in a while, you’re insane. If anything, all I’ve learned from this is to have a back up plan.

Hm…my sister’s house is within walking distance…I wonder if she had power!)