Why I Will Run.

I'm not a runner.


Truth be told, I'm not even much of a walker. I trip over curbs and splash into puddles and excuse myself when I bump into inanimate objects.

But this weekend, I will run.

I'll be running for Allison, painting a peaceful world in my mind.

And I'll run for Ana with a song in my heart.

I'll be running for Avielle, imagining the concrete is a San Diego beach.

I'll be running for Benjamin and his love for his brother.

I run for Caroline with pink nail polish in her honor.

I run for Catherine, smiling if an animal should cross my path. I doubt there'll be any on the course with me, but if even a bird should fly overhead, I'll think about her love for all these creatures.

I will run for Charlotte and her curls.

I'll run for Chase because, if he could, he'd be running too, and if a 6 year old can complete a triathlon, I can certainly handle a 5K.

I will run for Daniel and his missing front teeth.

I run for Dylan, bouncing on a trampoline.

I will run for Emilie, who probably would've congratulated me with a card when I finished.

I will run for amazing Grace with a ribbon in my hair.

And I'll run for Jack, maybe even doing a Giants end zone dance when I finish.

I will run for James, and after that, I'll eat lunch in his honor. Maybe a footlong Subway.

I'll run for Jesse and his favorite breakfast sandwiches.

I run for Jessica and her pink cowboy boots.

I run for Josephine, especially because she was nicknamed "Boo."

I run for shy Madeleine and her sweet smile.

I run for Noah and those giant puppy dog eyes.

I will run for "wiggly" Olivia and her role as an angel - not just in St. Rose's Nativity, but in the world as well.
 
I run for teachers who died protecting these kids. I run for my sister and friends who carry on the legacy left by those six. Teachers who spend their days caring for the world's children, all sharing the instinct to protect that innocence, whatever the cost.

I run for my friends and all those we turn to when our bodies and souls are in need. First responders modeling courage, social workers seeking understanding, clergy inspiring hope.

I run for the parents who lost a piece of their hearts and siblings who lost their best friends.

I run for the 20 empty chairs in the Class of 2024, and for the chunk of childhood that was stolen from so many on a morning just a week before Christmas.

I run for my Newtown neighbors. I run for our community. I run for how everything changed, and it all started in our backyard.

I'm not a runner.

But this weekend, I will run with 26 pairs of wings at my feet.